dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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