can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
