doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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