I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
