whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
