1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
