Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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