First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
