Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
and she was petting her beer can
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We need to get me chipped asap
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
