I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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