She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
