Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
