would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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