hell yes lets make some ravioli
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
