she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
do nipples grow back?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
