i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
