it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
