just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
