Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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