Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
