he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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