I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
