You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
