i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Randomize
