this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
