you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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