is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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