You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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