You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
