if i died would you start the facebook group?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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