He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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