We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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