it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
