You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
