Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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