Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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