You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
