mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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