We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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