What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
