He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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