He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
