All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
