but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
