i think my mom watched the whole time
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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