suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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