hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
