Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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