i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
