I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
