nut hugger
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
