i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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